Jell-O Fist

My all-time top favorite Marvel heroes are:



with Cap being the top of the top. Why? Because they’re regular guys, not god-like, nigh-on invulnerable ubermensch such as Superman and Thor. Unless you had some kryptonite or Loki’s staff handy, fighting them was pretty much suicide. The Marvel guys, though, could be beaten, even by regular schmos like Gladiator

or Tarantula;

heck,  they could be killed. Cap has been killed, or so I’ve heard. By Crossbones,

or so I’ve heard. Daredevil actually has a handicap, a radioactive muffler (we had radioactive car parts in the 60s, doncha know) taking his sight while giving him bat radar while martial arts training gave him badassery. And Iron Fist…oh, c’mon, plunging his hand into the fiery heart of Shou-Lao the Undying?

Now what 1970’s era martial artist like moi didn’t want to do the same thing?

So when Netflix announced an Iron Fist series, I was all atwitter. After all, they’d done a bang-up job with Daredevil (maybe not so much in Season 2, except for the best Punisher ever

), Jessica Jones (with the most terrifying villain ever,

except for maybe Doctor Doom), and Luke Cage…

well, two out of three ain’t bad. I settled in, popcorn in hand, to watch and…

What? The? Hell?

I mean, seriously, Netflix, what the hell? I don’t know what this series is, but it’s definitely not Iron Fist. Jello Fist, more like it.

Foist of all, Danny Rand’s not some naïve waif-like barefoot hippie spouting Zen koans and bewildered by The Real World. Danny Rand is a badass, with badass attitudes. After all, he marched out of Kun’Lun in full Iron Fist regalia and yanked Rand Enterprises out from under the legless Harold Meachum (if you know the original comic books, that’s funny). With the approval and encouragement of Lei Kung the Thunderer.

What’s this “guardian of the pass” crap?

Second, Iron Fist is a master martial artist. This guy Finn or Swede or whoever is a green belt. Colleen Wing is a green belt. Both are getting their clocks cleaned by other green belts. About the only one who looks like he knows what he’s doing is Davos.

I’m beginning to back his claim to the Iron Fist.

And who wrote this thing? Because, seriously, the Big Reveal about Colleen Wing?

Amateur hour.

One more question: where the hell is the Iron Fist? I think we’ve seen it once or twice. Maybe.

I vote for an immediate reboot.

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